Epiphany

January 6, 2020

In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, ²asking, “Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising, and have come to pay him homage.” ³When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; ⁴and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. ⁵They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet: ⁶‘And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who is to shepherd my people Israel.’” ⁷Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. ⁸Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.”

⁹When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was. ¹⁰When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. ¹¹On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. ¹²And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road.

Matthew 2:1-12

Baby gifts are so much fun. There’s nothing better, for me, than wandering the baby section at Target choosing what to send off to a set of new parents and their bundle of joy. We received an overwhelming abundance of baby gifts, from showers thrown by friends and my congregation and my husband’s workplace and the church staff. Handmade blankets, thoughtfully-chosen books, adorable clothes, all of it was not only practical, but profoundly representative of the village that is helping us to raise our daughter.

In reflecting on that time in our lives, though – the tender postpartum sleepless wondrous discovery time – the greatest gift people gave us were their questions.

I remember a dear friend visiting us in the hospital and asking, “How was your birth experience? I would love to hear as much about it as you’re ready to share or want to process.” Getting to tell my version of our birth story and for Greg to tell his too was a moment when we felt so seen and loved.

My colleague Adam came over a week after Phoebe’s birth and asked us, “What do you know about her so far?” This question treated us like the experts on our kid, which of course, we were, though we felt completely out of our depth. It invited us to claim an identity we were still figuring out how to live into.

A seminary friend came to visit during my maternity leave, when Phoebe was somewhere around 7 weeks old and experiencing serious colic. She asked me, “How is your spirit?” I had no idea how much I needed someone to acknowledge how hard this stage of newborn parenting was until she asked that question.

I am in Arizona right now experiencing the joy and power of the UCC’s Next Generation Leadership Initiative program, and a fellow toddler parent asked me during a dip in the pool, “How has becoming a parent changed your theology?” What an opening that honored our shared identities as pastors and parents and invited me into a different type of reflective space.

The Wise Ones brought gifts to Jesus that were so far from practical. Gold, frankincense, and myrrh were symbolic and beautiful and special, not the functional stuff of the everyday. This Epiphany, I am thinking about the amazing gift of these questions that get beyond the practical (“How is she sleeping?” “What are you doing to take care of yourself right now?”) to the symbolic and beautiful and special (“Who are you and who are you becoming?” “How is your soul?”). Parenting can feel so very functional much of the time. By asking one another questions that matter, we give a priceless gift.